Adventures in Dogwalking

Greg and I have an agreement that the last one out of the house has to take Buddy for a walk around the block before heading off to work. It's usually me. You'd think that this would be a fairly simple task, but apparently for me, it's not.
Yesterday morning I had this great idea that I would enjoy a cup of coffee while I walked Buddykins. I had Buddy on a short leash, poo-bag and coffee in hand. We set out and shortly thereafter I noticed that Mr. Mao was also coming on the walk with us. I smiled to myself thinking "oh, how cute...Mao wants to come along!" Three houses down Buddy took a big poo. No problem. I put the coffee cup on the sidewalk, held on to Buddy's leash, deftly picked up the big load, and tied my one bag in a knot. Surely he was done.
Nope, next house another poo. Okay...a little trickier as I only had the one bag. Coffee cup on the sidewalk, reopen bag, juggle old poo but do manage to get it all in the bag. Mao watched curiously from a distance, probably wondering why I never clean the litter box every time after he and Dutchie use it.
Back to the poo. I thought he was done, but nooooo...he had to squeeze a little more out. Coffee cup on sidewalk, this time even trickier with the poo so I had to let go of the leash. Which is when Buddy saw Mao and the chase was on! First Mao, then Buddy, then me (with my 2lb bag of poo) racing down the street, and of course witnessed by the mailman.
I managed to get Buddy in the house, then had to go back and retrieve my coffee cup which was still sitting on the sidewalk at this point cold and being stepped over by the kids on their way to school.
On my way home from work last night I bought a Bright Red flexi-leash with a 16 foot lead. Paid $40 for it, but figured it would be worth it. It would give Buddy a little more freedom and maybe I could handle the poo situation better.
We set out this morning but I decided not to bring the coffee.
We made it halfway around the block on his new leash before he got tangled up around a hydro pole. Stupid me let go of the leash and the automatic recoil set in motion. It recoiled all right, and scared the shit out of Buddy! He started running but the handle just kept following him. He was terrified so ran even faster! The handle followed him faster! That dog can run like the wind! So can the flexi-leash handle. I ran too, although not like the wind...
I passed a man I had said hello to three minutes earlier while he admired my new puppy. He now shook his head and tried not to laugh.
Buddy was sitting on the front lawn out of breath. The brand new Bright Red flexi-leash also looked tired. It also looked like I've had it for ten years.

I can only thank god that the mailman didn't witness this.