I have a confession to make. In fact, this is something I've been feeling very guilty about for the past 24 hours because I am ashamed of myself.
See...yesterday I was at Old Navy and I was trying on jeans. Now, ANY woman must know how stressful this act alone is, but it is especially so when your ass has expanded by 30 pounds in the past year. Just saying.
So, there was this Asian woman shopping in the store with her two very adorable little pigged-tailed girls, both dressed in pink. Very sweet. I remember admiring them. But after a few minutes of me browsing around, all I could hear were these two little girls laughing and running around. They were about 3 and 5 yrs old. Racing in around the racks of clothes, pulling things off the hangars....and SCREETCHING!!!!! Maybe that is why I noticed them. Kept noticing them.
I went into the change room, and of course the jean size I fit into LAST year, didn't fit anymore. Sweat poured off of me as I tried to pour myself into those jeans to no avail. No amount of jumping up and down, and pretending to sit down and stretch out the ass would make them fit. But the SCREETCHING continued in the main room....and in my head!
The sweat was pouring down my back, but I was determined to buy myself some clothes ('cause apparently, my whole wardrobe has shrunk.) The little Hellions were running around only by now they had found a squeaky toy that when they weren't pressing it between their sweaty little hands, they were jumping upon like it was a spider. And SQEEEEEEELING like the frickin' thing had exploded beneathe their feet.
I grabbed my Biggy Girl jeans and made my way to the back, pissed-off, irritated, red-faced, my make-up melted down to my jowls, my hair sticking to my melted make-up, the squeaky-toy still squeeking at an ear-piercing decibel.
I managed to get the Biggy Girl jeans over my ample hips, took one look, pulled them off my ample hips (along with my underwear...Oops!) and literally had one of those moments where all I saw was RED. I wasn't thinking clearly, I didn't know what I was going to do...just that I was going to SAY something because if I didn't I was going to EXPLODE!
I know I wasn't the only person annoyed by these two girls, and I noticed that the mother was just nonchalantly shopping for herself letting her kids run wild. There were other people commenting on these kids.
So, like I said, I was pissed. I don't go shopping often but when I am in the mood, I like to take my time. This was most unpleasant. I was seeing RED and I didn't handle it well.
I stormed out of that change room with my super-sized pants and headed straight for the older girl and very clearly said "You need to be a lot more quiet!"
That's all I said.
But, then, all of a sudden, out of nowhere, the mother was paying attention!!! OMG! What had I done? Why could I keep my big mouth shut and just pay for my Pup-tent jeans and get the hell out of there?
MOM: DID YOU JUST SAY SOMETHING TO MY KIDS???????!!!!!!
ME: (silently storming to the cash register hoping that no one was going to call the cops)
MOM: YOU BITCH....YOU CAN'T SAY ANYTHING TO MY KIDS! MINE YOUR BUSINESS!
ME: looking straight ahead but secretly laughing because she said 'mine' instead of 'mind'

HA! MINE YOUR OWN KIDS LADY! TAKE THEM TO THE PLAYGROUND AND DON'T FORCE YOUR KIDS' RAMBUNCTIOUSNESS ON OTHERS.

Sigh. Is this god's way of saying I'd be a lousy mother, and that's why it's never going to happen? I know I didn't handle that well.