Friday, June 03, 2005

Granny-Panties

I went up to the trailer on Wed to do some gardening (I've pulled all the muscles in my ass and the back of my thighs...who'da thought gardening was such hard work?!) I brought up my next door neighbour, Miss "Gosh, Darn, Good-Golly." I hadn't realized it, but she's been out of work for the past month, so I thought I would invite her up. We had a pretty nice time, but jeez...she is even nicer than I thought. She made me feel like I was the biggest,nastiest,sleaziest bitch on the planet! (But not in a really bad way!)
We had this underwear conversation that started because my hot pink Victoria's Secret bra strap was showing from under my bright yellow tank top (I couldn't care less if my bra straps show, but I think she was perplexed!) Nonetheless, she showed me her bra strap, and said she got 2/$20 at Costco, and it was the first BLACK bra she had ever owned in her life! (She is 42) Then she proceded to talk about her underwear, and admitted that she only wore white baggy briefs, that cover everything, all her rolls. (She swims every morning for an hour and a half for the past 8 years and weighs 120lbs) I jokely said "You wear Granny-Panties?!" So, she showed me...and she does. Wear Granny-Panties. Sparkling, bright white, probably always washed with bleach, Granny-Panties!!! I, embarassingly enough, was going commando under my yoga pants! (I did not show her mine) Now, I don't swim, except of course, for the dead-man float I am quite capable of doing since I learned that at Tadpoles when I was 8, and am quite rollie-pollie, but would rather die than have Greg see me in Bloomers! I believe that is a sure-fire way to ruin a sex life. Which leads me to the next topic of conversation we had: she hasn't had sex with her husband in over two years.
Do you think the Granny-Panties could be part of the problem?! Or, do most men really not care what the hell kind of lingerie women wear?

No comments: