Sunday, May 01, 2005

Thanks for letting me vent! I remember when I was younger I kept diaries. Somewhere, I have 5-6 diaries packed away. I know they are not here at the condo, but maybe at my mom's place. Hopefully she hasn't read them, because I know more than once, I ranted and raved about her!
Thankfully, Greg is someone who has the ability to think about things rationally, and, as I found out, has the ability to apologize. Crazy, how in two years, we really have not had a cross word between us...we live quite peacefully. Yesterday was interesting to me in many ways. Firstly, I had the opportunity to really think about what I wanted to say to him, rather than just see red and blurt out the first shit that comes out of my mouth, as has happened in a past relationship. I was more rational. Secondly, although he did get pissed off and stormed out, he had the opportunity to think about what I had to say, and had some time to cool off. To be fair, I don't think he had any idea of what had been going on in my head for a while because I didn't say anything. It took him by surprise. Anyway, he came home, said that he was sorry, that on many points (not all) I was right, and that he did need to make some changes. I apologized too, not for what I had said, but because I had let it build up, rather than communicate earlier about things I was not pleased with.
Thirdly, and maybe this is because at nearly 40, and I am more mature(!), I did not think that this was the end of our relationship. He left, I put on Neil Diamond (like I said I would), blasted his 20 Greatest Hits TWICE while I did some therapeutic cleaning and really, at the end of it all, felt pretty good. Is this weird, or what?! It was like I had an inner and outer cleaning yesterday.
And the dinner party was a smashing success. I had been to a rummage sale first thing in the morning (therapeutic rummaging) and had bought a trivial pursuit game for $1. It came in handy last night. I love when I can use something that I just picked up willy-nilly like that.
It's a little thrill, that made everybody happy.

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