Tuesday, December 11, 2007

I am really enjoying my new job, and in the past month have learned so much and seen the old stuff with new eyes. I've learned about other areas in the hospital that I had no idea how they functioned and met so many people, all of whom have been very supportive.

I've surprisingly had a few issues with some of my old colleagues in terms of them (one in particular) challenging me and trying to tell me that 'that's not how we do it', or 'we aren't certified to take care of those kinds of patients here.' Last week she challenged me over a particular type of Intercranial monitoring device that she said she was told in her orientation, that "we don't do in the Recovery Room." Well, I was pretty certain that we did, and could not think of a reason why we wouldn't take a pt with this kind of device, but truthfully, I didn't know the policy either. So, I looked up the policy and photocopied it, and also found the information in a learning package that was in our orientation binder which I again photocopied and brought the information to her. She said that she hadn't been taught how to monitor these types of patients because she hadn't been allowed to take the second part of the critical care course, and didn't feel confident in the skill. Well, my response was that I felt perfectly comfortable in holding an inservice for those interested in Intercranial Pressure monitoring, as I had been the one running the class during the Critical Care Course. Surely she would be interested to take advantage of a free learning opportunity! She then dismissed me and said she really wasn't interested in learning another skill that it was more advantageous to put the OR on hold so the Recovery Room wouldn't have to deal with head injured patients. So, really her issues were that a) she wasn't up to par with her skills, b) had no interest in learning c) is disruptive with the flow of the patients d) is giving false information to new employees and e) is lazy and thinks she is a princess. OK, 'e' is my opinion but she pissed me off! Anyway, the good thing is, is that the rest of the staff is very supportive and keen to learn new things, or brush up on skills they already know. So that's work. And other than a few little run-ins, things are very good. I've been going to workshops on conflict management, and teaching adult learners so I'm sure that these will all be very helpful.

Today was a great research day, and the only major problem was the undergarments I was wearing. See, I had it in my head that with the shade of pants I was wearing that you could see the cellulite on my ass. So, I decided to wear a body-shaper under my pants. The one I chose really was not sexy at all, it was a heavy duty bandage that looked like this:

It seemed to be okay when I was getting ready for work, I looked nice and slim (for me) no lumps and bumps. I realized when I got into the car that I had made an error in judgement as my thighs were kind of strangulating, and I was having a little trouble breathing. I rolled the top of the garment down to my waist but then I was cut in the middle and still couldn't breathe very well. And, it felt more like an elastic band and my roll just popped up higher.

When I got to work, I pulled the top part up again, but put little slits in the leg parts thinking it might be more comfortable around my thighs. It seemed to work and I kind of got used to being all sucked in around the middle.

By lunch time I was starving and got some Thai food to eat at my desk. I rolled the torso band down again as I was having a hard time eating being all sucked in, but that was worse so I cut a little slice in that band. But then everything popped out in front and I was stuck with a 3 inch stiff piece of fabric that circumferenced my waist and was quite noticeable under my sweater. So, I cut the whole band off. Then I made deeper slits in the leg parts. Then I got called out so I had to walk through the hospital halls. Let me tell you. Body shaping under garments are put together by highly qualified engineers and when you mess with their plans, you really get into trouble. The waist band had nowhere to go so had turned itself into a bikini-sized elastic which pushed ALL of my rolls upwards so that when I walked I was just one big jiggle from the front and in the thighs, yet I still had a smooth bottom!

At that point I would easily have sacrificed the smooth bottom to get rid of the front jiggle that I could not even hide with my file folder. And of course I ran into every single hospital employee that I could possibly know.

I finally made it back to my office, pulled down the blind, took off my undergarment (what was left of it) and breathed comfortably for the first time all day.

I think I will forever nix the Body-shapers, which really is just a politically correct term for an old fashioned GIRDLE!!!


Anonymous said...

Well I sure did get my laugh for the day. Women are always trying to hide something when men might think it looks good. Next time just let it all hang out. I am sure you will breath a lot better and eating sure will be pleasant.
Thanks for the laugh.

Begered said...

That is too hilarious. Thanks for making me laugh! :)

Bob-kat said...

Oh, dear! I thought I was the only one that things like that happened to! LOL!

Very glad to hear that you have settled well into your new job, difficult colleagues aside. I suspect her problem was also jealousy.

moon said...

OMG that was funny! I laughed so hard...and totally GOT IT! I have worn those torture chamber gurtle thingamajigs!!

Pez said...

OMG- I am dying reading about the body shaper. I totally want to buy one but for the life of me I cannot stop thinking about how uncomfortable it will be. Of course I would not take a pair of scissors to them (that is not the rules!). You are so funny!