I've been ingoring my blog lately. Not entirely on purpose, but I've just not been feeling myself lately and have struggled a bit with feeling 'up' enough to even comment adequately on other friends' blogs.
I have a doctor's appt next week for a physical, and I've promised myself that I will not cancel this one. I've cancelled the last two because I'm too embarrassed to go.
If you've read my blog long enough, you know that I've been a yo-yo dieter for pretty much most of my life. In the last few years I've steadily just put on more and more weight. I have no one to blame but myself. I live in scrubs and track suits, I don't exercise, I eat and drink too much. I'm embarrassed to go to the doctor, because I know she's going to say something about my weight and my unhealthy habits, and I'm going to feel like shit, and because of the crappy mood I've been in for a the last few months, I'll probably cry. And, the last time this doctor saw me, I was crying.
To be honest, I'm actually starting to think that maybe there is something wrong with me! I feel pre-mentrual ALL the time. Not just the emotional crap, but the physical, too. Everything is sore, and achy and bloated. Is this what peri-menopause is all about? If it is, shoot me now!
Buffalo was a good distraction yesterday. We spent a lot of time at Tar-jay and I bought a new tracksuit. And I bought Greg a Kitchen Aid Santoku Knife. He's not exactly a sushi-lover, but it's pretty sharp and, well, it's a good-looking knife (if there is such a thing as a good-looking knife?!) Anyway, he actually was pretty pleased with it. I've discovered that he is a man who loves kitchen gadgety things.
This morning we jammed 30 boxes of junk into a van and hauled the load up to his Dad's place to store in his garage. Afterwards, I had the pleasure of sitting through Pope Benedict XVI's mass while Greg's 80 yr old grandmother translated. Nothing against the Pope, but I was thinking about the Santoku Knife, and how sharp it was.
The condo is going on the market on April 3rd. I'm nervous, and sad, stressed, and a little bit excited at the prospect of a house. There is a lot to do in the next couple of weeks, but I'm pretty sure it'll all get done.
Now...if the perma-PMS would go away, I'm sure everything would be just fine.