Monday, June 27, 2005

A New Kind of...

Family Planning?!

The funniest thing happened on the weekend.
We were up at the trailer overnight on Friday. I knew that there was a garage sale planned for Saturday morning, so I grabbed a few things from home for Greg's Nan to sell. Amongst those items were a few purses that I didn't need anymore. Since Nan was at this garage sale to make a profit (and not get rid of junk like everybody else) I had told her to keep whatever she made off of my stuff.
Of course, me, being me, didn't check the purses for any belongings...or money for that matter! (Hope Nan didn't hit the jackpot!)
A few hours later, Greg's mom comes over to our trailer and she's got this funny look on her face. She tentatively held out her hand, and asks "Uh...what are these?"
I immmediately started laughing and asked her what she thought they were. She had no idea, said she'd never seen anything like it before.
Now. Years ago when I lived in the Middle East, these, for some reason, were the only ones you could buy. The others (Hint: Tampax, Playtex) were considered too sexually stimulating. (I am NOT joking!!! They were monitored by the religous police!) I just got used to using them, and ultimately like them for their convenience. I can stick them in the pocket of my jeans when I don't feel like carrying a purse, or I can put them in my uniform scrub pockets for those just-in-case-moments.
So, Greg's mom didn't quite know what they were. Nan was absolutely SURE that they were suppositories that women use for birth control! Hmmm...interesting. Fucking Hilarious!!!! Can you imagine? First of all, she had no idea I had been trying to get pregnant, so I guess she naturally assumed I was trying to prevent it! But the funniest thing is, is that she told Greg's mom that she had heard of this new type of supposity birth control!
Hmmm... I suppose it WOULD work as birth control because it would HURT LIKE HELL, and likely end up in places it wasn't meant to be?!?!?!?!
Which, reminds of another story involving a 16 yr old girl visiting her 70 yr old Oma. Oma, being kind, decided to be prepared for her granddaughter, who had probably reached "Womanhood" already. I arrived, all jet-lagged and needing to use the toilet. Oma, quite excited, and proud of herself, told me that 'if it was my time' there was a bag of tampons in the bathroom.
Imagine my surprise, when I found the bag of tampons. Pink, yellow, green and blue cottonballs!
When I flipped the bag over...Rouge, jaune, vert, bleu...TAMPONS!!!
Did she really think I was going to shove cottonballs up myself?! I mean, really. How many would I have had to use?

Oh. And, in the picture, please ignore the devil cat. He's a bit vain, and wanted to be in the picture.